Slap Bookleather

Lone Ranger Video Game

2012-03-02T23:41:00.000-05:00

It looks like this came out in 1991,and was based on the 1981 Legend of the Lone Ranger movie. Anyone remember playing it?

All-Star Western Wraps Up Its Stay In Gotham

2012-02-29T05:00:00.000-05:00

With issue #6 out, it looks likeAll-Star Western is finally leaving Gotham City. It ends on an interesting twist, in whichJonah Hex emerges from a journey through a cave system below Gotham City tofind stately Wayne Manor of Batman fame- Jonah Hex discovered the Batcave! This cave system, by the way, was inhabited by child slavers, prehistoric barbarians, and giant flying bat gods. Let me get this straight- the greatgrandparents of the world’s greatest detective (aka Batman) built a mansion ontop of this crazy land of terror and never knew it? I suspect there was an adoption somewherealong the lines, because intuition and deductive skills sure don’t run in thatgene pool.

Next month All-Star Western picks upand moves to New Orleans to meet up with classic DC western heroes Nighthawkand Cinnamon. Let’s hope Hex returns toform.

The Celebrity Cowboy- Erotic Failures in Western Fiction

2012-02-27T06:00:00.000-05:00

Early in my blogging career I wrote apost about eroticism in westerns. It isone of my top ten most visited posts, although I suspect that is because thereis a somewhat pornographic clip from the video game Darkwatch embedded, and notbecause of my erudite writing. I stilllike looking for westerns that not only capture the primal feeling of makingone’s way through a wilderness landscape, but also the primal feeling of warmbodies in a passionate embrace.

I occasionally have a moment ofweakness and look this type of writing by grabbing a cheap ebook from theBarnes & Noble Nook store. I browsedthrough my Nook today and found one story called The Cowboy Celebrity byDavid Shaw. I don’t recall when I boughtthis, or why, but I apparently laid out $2 of cold, hard electric cash forit. It is a short story that features aWild Bill double that meets two married women on a steamboat trip and entices themback to his cabin, ostensibly to have them “model” costumes for a new show.

“SweetJesus, Clara, your tits are so big a man could stake out a claim on them underthe Homesteading Act.”

So-called erotic westerns are oftenfilled with loose, groan-worthy analogies to historical western events, likethe one above. We are also usually treated tofascinating details of penis size, like this:

“Oh,God, Georgina,” Clara moaned in shock. “Itbelongs in a cage!”

The two women spend most of the restof book talking about how big the man is, and how worried they are aboutfitting it within their demure forms. I’massuming that at some point they try it out, but I gave up before thatpoint.

Surely there is a novel out there thatis well written AND has engaging scenes of eroticism. Any suggestions?

Joe Abercrombie- Fantasy Author's Take on Genre and Westerns

2012-02-26T10:27:00.000-05:00

I’ve made a lot of grumpy commentsover the last year about the failure of genre fiction, particularly the westerngenre. As a fantasy reader I find the same true over in that neck of thebookshelf. One writer that I have come to enjoy, Joe Abercrombie, seemsto agree. This is good news, as it looks like he is moving the timelineof his low fantasy (ie no dragons and little magic) First Law series upa couple centuries of technology to “combine fantasy with some western influences. Expect narrowed eyes, expansive skies, tough one-liners, and lots of dust...”

Can’t wait to read that one. Below are Abercrombie’s thoughtson breaking genre fiction loose from its shackles.

Epic fantasy. It’s all the same,no?

There’s a grumpy wizard, a deadlybarbarian, a jumped-up nobleman and some feisty girl, more than likely. They’reall engaged in a mysterious quest to bring that from there, and they’re allmade out of cardboard. Probably there’s a dark lord of some kind involved. Theytalk like extras from a bad soap opera. They fight like extras from a bad copshow. Probably there’s a prophecy, and a farmboy with mysterious parentage, andif not a magic tower, then certainly a strange tall building of some kind.There’ll be battles, there’ll be intrigue, and I wouldn’t be at all surprisedif a magic sword came up somewhere along the way.

I don’t need to read that again.

I want to read a fantasy with all thegrit, and cruelty, and humour of real life. Where good and evil are a matter ofwhere you stand, just like in the real world. I want dialogue that actuallysounds like people talking, and action that actually feels like peoplefighting. I want magic and adventure, sure, but I want it to hurt. I wantblood, sweat, and tears, and plenty of them. I want to read about characters asselfish, as flawed, as complicated, and as unpredictable as real people. I wanta fantasy that can shock and surprise, amuse and horrify, delight and excite me,all at once.

I spent a long time looking, and Icouldn’t find a set of books quite like that. So I thought I’d write some.

You like your fantasy with the edgesleft on?

Try The First Law.

Quickshots- Peter Brandvold’s The Devil’s Winchester

2012-02-24T07:14:00.000-05:00

There’s an irony that I write aquickshots on The Devil’s Winchester, since it has taken me over a yearto read it. I normally gobble up newbooks from Peter Brandvold’s Lou Prophet: Bounty Hunter series fast, as it is aquick, funny, and action packed set of novels. This one was barely interesting,and it was only memories of other, better books by Brandvold that kept mereading. The Devil’s Winchester had none of thehumor or character development we are used to seeing in the series. Along about page 170 you see why, whenBrandvold and editors slip up and call Lou Prophet by the name Longarm instead. The Devil’s Winchester is at leastpartially lifted out of work intended for the Longarm series, and it shows thatBrandvold is writing in a genericized housename style rather than in his ownvoice. If my math is right this was the eighthbook in the series, but the first disappointment. Based on the past work I’ll definitely pickup the next book in the series, but I hope it really will be a Lou Prophetbook, and not Longarm with a different name.

Django Unchained- Tarantino’s New Western

2012-02-15T21:19:00.000-05:00

It looks like Quentin Tarantino, themaster directors of racial tension and over the top violence, is wrapping up anew western, Django Unchained. Filmed in Wyoming and New Orleans, it stars Jamie Foxx, LeonardoDiCaprio, and Sam Jackson. Expect lotsof use of the F-bomb and N-word between scalpings when it opens Christmas Day2012.

Alex Mercer, Tyler Durden, and Post-Urbanism

2012-02-08T21:34:00.000-05:00

image by Phil Noto

For those of you who read this bloglooking for hints on good cowboy books to read, this one is going to straypretty far from that objective. If you read this because you like theoccasional environmentalist or political wanderings, this post may be up youralley. If this is your first time here and found the blog by plugging“Alex Mercer” or “Tyler Durden” into a search engine, welcome and enjoy.

“Think of everything we'veaccomplished, man. Out these windows, we will view the collapse of financialhistory. One step closer to economic equilibrium.”

Like a lot of formerly angsty Gen-XersI absolutely love Fight Club. The movie is something to behold,but to really get the full impact of the story you have to read Chuck Palahniuk’soriginal book, which is where I got started. You are probably alreadyfamiliar with the storyline- Average Joe develops a split personality with ananti-corporate, anti-consumerist attitude and forms a secret society ofdisenchanted men who look for personal meaning in seemingly random violence,leading up to massive attack of anarchic terrorism against the credit cardcompanies. Okay, maybe you didn’t know that, since most viewers probablyjust remember the half naked guys punching each other. But trust me, that’swhat the story is about.

(Well, there’s also the theory thatthe narrator is really a grown-up Calvin and that Tyler Durden is Hobbes. And the theory following Palahniuk’s outing that half naked fights in basementswere actually big man-orgies. Also, the movie Old School is FightClub re-written as a comedy. Fight Club stirs up lots oftheories. That’s why it’s important to follow the first rule of FightClub- Do Not Talk About Fight Club. Which is also the second rule.)

What was missing from the movieversion of Fight Club is a sense of where the Fight Club / ProjectMayhem / Space Monkey movement is heading- an elimination of the modernindustrialized world and a returning humanity to some kind of post-urban,post-industrial hunter gatherer society. The book is strewn withneo-primitivist passages like this one:

"Imagine,"Tyler said, "stalking elk past department store windows and stinking racksof beautiful rotting dresses and tuxedos on hangers; you'll wear leatherclothes that will last you the rest of your life, and you'll climb thewrist-thick kudzu vines that wrap the Sears Tower. Jack and the beanstalk,you'll climb up through the dripping forest canopy and the air will be so cleanyou'll see tiny figures pounding corn and laying strips of venison to dry inthe empty car pool lane of an abandoned superhighway stretchingeight-lanes-wide and August-hot for a thousand miles.”

I admit there are days where thisvision sounds pretty attractive to me, such as the day that I received one worke-mail on average every 7.5 minutes over the course of the work day. Thenthere are days where a little voice inside my head says “look, bionic man,you walk around with a Dacron aorta and a carbon fiber aortic valve- who areyou to complain about progress and technology?” It is all veryconfusing. Still, one can fantasize…

So just how did New York Cityturn into this post-urban landscape reclaimed by nature? Surely it wassomething more than the destruction of the credit card companies at the end ofthe novel, right? That question always lurked in the back of mymind. That is, until I played a console game called Prototype, andsaw how the main character systematically wrecks an electronic Manhattan in themiddle of a zombie apocalypse. I sure wouldn’t want to live there. Atleast not until the zombies move out.

Warning: Here There BeSpoilers

In a story told through a mix offlashbacks, intense action sequences, and eating people’s brains (yes, you readthat right) you learn that there is a secret government program to developbioweapons that somehow goes wrong. Their biggest and best virus,Blacklight, somehow gets loose, and eats its creator. That is you, AlexMercer. Or was you. It is entirely possible that you spend theentire game as an evolving virus that is a roughly six foot tall shapeshifterwhich spends most of its time looking like the first guy that it ate anddefaulting to those memories. You also spend part of the game growingclaws and whips out of your arms, running up and down the sides of building,karate-kicking attack helicopters, and slashing apart both the zombie hordesthat you may have inadvertently created and the vast military force arrayed tostop both the zombies and you. Also, as I mentioned before, eatingbrains. That’s just what walking viruses do. Between the zombies, thekill-crazy military, and quite frankly your own manic action, Manhattan slowlygets wrecked around you.

"Myname is Alex Mercer. I'm the reason for all of this. They call me a killer, amonster, a terrorist. I'm all of these things.”

The thing that was Alex Mercer in action

Let me just say that it takes some bighairy nuts in a post 9/11 world to set a game in Manhattan where theprotagonist (I won’t even touch the word “hero”) is a self-described terroristwho racks up a body count like an al-Qaeda wet dream. I’m about 2/3 ofthe way through and the KIA list is already north of 3,000. Despite allthe bloodshed, though, there are strange moments of calm. In later partsof the game when you’ve dodged the attack helicopters, the UAVs are out ofsight, and you are hanging off of the antenna of a skyscraper like Jack on hisbeanstalk, you see Manhattan laid out before you. Entire neighborhoodsare given over to the zombies, civilians streaming across the bridges lookingsafety. The city’s urban landscape is getting reshaped one block at atime, and you suspect that this place will never be the same again. It isa tragedy, played up in the game, but sometimes I had moments where I lookedout and thought, “dang, Tyler, nice job.”

And since you asked nicely,here’s a cowboy.

Tough West- The Coolest Western Cartoon You’ve Never Seen

2012-02-06T05:00:00.000-05:00

“If there is a choice to be a chicken;there is also always a chance to become…a legend.”

Check out the video here.

Midnight Theater: Valentine’s Special (NSFW)

2012-02-05T15:05:00.000-05:00

It has been a while since we did aMidnight Theater post here at Slap Bookleather, so here is one for our upcomingholiday of love and fidelity. Or just knocking cowboy boots, which is what appears to be happening inthese fine adult films. Still haven’tseen any of these; if you have recommendations, let me know.

All-Star Western and American Vampire

2012-01-29T21:35:00.000-05:00

The way things are going you reallyget the impression that DC Comics hates westerns. All-Star Western continues to slogalong as a prequel to the Batman comics, with this week’s issue #5 set in, ofall places, the Batcave. Now the Batcavein this instance is also inhabited by a tribe of bat worshiping savagebarbarians, hard to really figure when you consider that this is in effect theDC version of New York City in the late 19^th century. It’s hard to care anymore,as moving from the amazingrun of Jonah Hex to this disappointment is enough to put one off DC’sattempts at westerns for good.

Except they also publish AmericanVampire through their Vertigo imprint. This fascinating horror comic features Skinner Sweet, a wild west outlawturned vampire, who surfaces in 1920’s Hollywood and keeps moving forward intime. DC recently ran a three partseries called "The Beast in the Cave" in American Vampire, starting with issue #19, about Skinner’spre-vampire time as a cavalry soldier in haunted Apache country. The story by series writer Scott Snyder wasexcellent, and art by Jordi Bernet (the best of the rotating Jonah Hex artists)was a hit. Dang, DC, you can make a goodwestern comic. But it sure as shit isn’tAll-Star Western.

Joey Garza- Heartless Killer or Romantic Hero?

2012-01-24T22:03:00.000-05:00

While yet again exploring theinterwebs (instead of working on my long-neglected novel) I found an artistthat has painted a few romantic pieces about Joey Garza from Larry McMurtry’sStreets of Laredo. Garza is a remorselessteenage killer and rifleman, not someone that you think would be overlyromanticized. Heck, who am I kidding,this is the same genre that romanticizes Billy the Kid. So what do you think, McMurtry fans- is JoeyGarza a heartless killer or a romantic hero?

For more from the same artist, check out her Deviant Art site: http://fuchsiart.deviantart.com

The Search For Bad Ass Native Chicks

2012-01-23T07:00:00.000-05:00

One thing that I love about having ablog is looking through the web metrics and seeing just how people get to yoursite. One of the more interesting ones lately was a series of searches for “badass native chick”. I tried searchingthose terms in Google myself and, while I couldn’t get my site, I did find several “bad ass native chicks”. Frankly, I don't think that any of them are actually Native American, and most are just white chicks wearing Pocahontas stripper outfits. I was going to put some of the pictures here, but I just took a better look and offended myself.

If you did come here looking for something about real badass natives, you may enjoy reading the Badass of the Week article on Running Eagle, “the Piegan Blackfoot Indian asskicking warrior-princess who routinelyled war parties screaming into battle and once moked out two badass-as-fuckCrow warriors by riding full-throttle towards them on horseback with one rifleunder each arm, guns blazing, until all that was left was a vapor trail ofblood and an oil-slick of bullet-riddled human entrails where her dipshitenemies once dared to stand against her.”

Quickshots- Reed Gunter Back to Form in Issue #7

2012-01-21T11:16:00.000-05:00

Reed Gunter, the all ages cowboy comic from Shane& Chris Houghton, is back to being in my top three comic books. The series started off with a bang, with ashort, simple story of wandering cowboy, his grizzly bear buddy Sterling, andhis gal pal Starla. The first couple of issues were action packed westerns,funny, and innocent enough to entertain both pre-teens and jaded Gen-Xers likeme.

The series quickly moved on tolonger arcs, changed the setting to the East Coast, and got into supernaturalconspiracy. Not fun at all, and all tooreminiscent of DC’s ridiculous decision to move Jonah Hex to Gotham City.

Reed Gunter is now well back on trackwith issue #7, which features a one-shot story that starts off funny, turnsscary, and comes to a heartwarming conclusion that will make you rememberfondly ever cuddly pet you’ve ever known. If you are a Western reader who is looking to get your kids into thegenre, this is a great place to start. Thanks,Shane & Chris, for bringing the western fun back to your great comic.

The Art of Raphael Gallur- Nekkid Gals & Gunslingers (NSFW)

2012-01-20T17:57:00.000-05:00

I mentioned in a previous post that I had stumbled upon the work of Mexican comics artist Raphael Gallur. Here is some more work from this talented guy.

Top Five Reasons I Can’t Watch Any More Hell On Wheels

2012-01-19T21:04:00.001-05:00

I’ve tried. Really, I’ve tried, but I just don’t think Ican watch any more Hell On Wheels. Ihave six unwatched episodes sitting on my DVR, and I am watching a seventh atthe moment, thinking about all the other things I could be watching, reading,doing instead. I am close to givingup. Here’s why:

There are no likeable characters. Not a one. In most dramas you find at least one character that you like, even the villains. Here I can’t find a one that I care about. I vaguely cared about Lily Bell for the first few episodes, but she has become as uninteresting as the rest.
As I’ve said in many posts before I really look for westerns to explore a visual landscape, not just a point in time. Here 90% of the scenes look exactly the same. Sometimes the story moves into a place with trees, and boy that is nice, but otherwise it is one flat piece of land. Historically accurate? Sure, that is where you build a railroad, but it is boring as heck.
I can’t find a three dimensional character in the bunch. Everyone is pulled out of the advanced stock characters barrel. Preacher- who used to be a killer! Grieving widow- with a secret! Angry black man- with a clever plan! Hooker- with a heart of gold! Better than having them all pulled out of the basic stock character barrel, but only just.
The writing is slow and plodding. It never seems to go anywhere. There’s the plains. And some tracks. And some guys working. And the robber baron complaining. And our hero angry. Again. Just like last week.
The show keeps setting itself up to be this big discussion on race in the west. It goes on and on about racism, but never really engages in it or adds anything meaningful to our thoughts on it. “Oh, I used to own slaves but I set them free and now my best buddy is that big black guy over there,” says the main character. Right, Johnny Reb, I’ll buy that.

Can anyone out there give me a good reason to keep on watching?

Lucha Libra Gunslingers: The Art of Rafael Gallur (Randy Cowpoke edition)

2012-01-15T19:38:00.000-05:00

A few days ago, while working on theblog about vaqueros, I was looking for some appropriate artwork that would showthe stylistic difference between cowboys American and Mexican. In doing so I stumbled across a Mexican comicsartist named Rafael Gallur. I had neverheard of him before, but he has some pretty great artwork. His western pieces are a nice mix oftraditional comics art and western themes with a bit of lucha libra style (luchalibra is a Mexican blend of professional wrestling and superheroes). For the next few days I’ll show off some ofhis work, grouped in a way that makes vague sense to me. Today’s edition- randy cowpokes!

If anyone knows what else Mr. Gallurhas worked on, please let me know. Ifanyone can get him a job, please use his talents!

Jonah Hex Drifting West?

2012-01-10T04:00:00.000-05:00

I just saw a preview of All-Star Western#7, and it looks like Hex will in fact be moving out west- or at least as farwest as New Orleans. He’ll also betaking Amadeaus Arkham with him. This isstarting to remind me of the Frank Castle / Microchip stories from the 90’sPunisher comics:

Jonah Hex tracks the kidnapperThurston Moody to New Orleans in pursuit of his bounty. But he and AmadeusArkham find New Orleans under attack by the August 7, a group ofanti-immigrant, steampunk terrorists. Only the renowned Nighthawk and Cinnamonstand between the terrorists and the immigrant workforce of this city. Hexconsents to put the bounty aside (for the moment) to help his friends and findshimself in a battle to the death!

Anti-immigrant steampunkterrorists? Well, at least we’ll begetting vaguely closer to a western.

Manhattan Public Library’s Western Picks

2012-01-09T06:46:00.002-05:00

The blog for the Manhattan PublicLibrary has put together a list of “classic and award-winning westerns”. It’s a nice list worth checking out. Thanks to Troy Smith for pointing this oneout.

Cisco Kid and Literature’s Missing Vaqueros

2012-01-08T18:37:00.000-05:00

Art by Mexican artist Rafael Gallur

In Mexico the cowboy tradition goesback further than the in the United States. Much of the cowboy culture the developed here in the U.S. is in fact anadoption of Mexican vaquero habits by Americans. For some reason, though, much of that seemsto be lost on American audiences looking into the West. Our collective consciousness of the West seemsto cut off anything Mexican with the bloodshed of the Alamo, and to a lesserextent the internecine Texas-Mexican conflicts and the Mexican-AmericanWar.

Zorro we can accept, because he issomehow Spanish and Californian instead of Mexican, and perhaps because he precedesthe Alamo. Vaqueros, though, never enter ourstories in great numbers. There areplenty of ex-bandits roaming western novels, including the Hat Creek CattleCompany’s cook Bolivar in Lonesome Dove, but a simple earthy vaquero to matchthe American cowboy rarely makes an appearance (with a modern exception in the2005 film Three Burials of Melquiades Estrada).

One of my favorite images of thevaquero comes from the O. Henry short story “The Caballero's Way",featuring a young rogue-ish vaquero named The Cisco Kid. That’s right, the same O. Henry who wrote yourgrade school classics “Lady or the Tiger” and “Gift of the Magi” wrote a greatcollection of western short stories informed by him time on the run in Latin Americaand in the West, avoiding arrest for embezzlement. He was a heck of a guy. Here’s his description of Cisco:

TheCisco Kid had killed six men in more or less fair scrimmages, had murderedtwice as many (mostly Mexicans), and had winged a larger number whom hemodestly forbore to count. Therefore a woman loved him.

TheKid was twenty-five, looked twenty; and a careful insurance company would haveestimated the probable time of his demise at, say, twenty-six. His habitat wasanywhere between the Frio and the Rio Grande. He killed for the love ofit—because he was quick-tempered—to avoid arrest—for his own amusement—anyreason that came to his mind would suffice. He had escaped capture because hecould shoot five-sixths of a second sooner than any sheriff or ranger in theservice, and because he rode a speckled roan horse that knew every cowpath inthe mesquite and pear thickets from San Antonio to Matamoras.

And also this simple description of asimple (if bloodthirsty) man:

Heknew but one tune and he sang it, as he knew but one code and lived it, and butone girl and loved her.

Read the rest of the story here.

The Cisco Kid would in time become anunrecognizable stock character in black & white serials and television,becoming a knight in shining spurs instead of a wily rider of backcountry. Moonstone comics would eventually bring himback in a series of comics, returning to O. Henry’s original character now seekingredemption for the consequences of “The Caballero's Way”.

In his blog Richard Wheeler talkedabout a pitch he made to write a series about a Mexican cowboy, and howpublishers found the idea unsellable. Whatdo you think? In our multi-ethnic worldis there room for a paperback vaquero?

Quickshots- All-Star Western #4

2012-01-07T16:56:00.001-05:00

Another issue of All-Star Western,another chance for Jonah Hex to complain about Gotham: “Ah hate this city likepoison.” You and me both, cowpoke. If you asked a group of loyal Hex readers(and I’m guessing that there were around 10,000 of them before DC’s 52relaunch) none of them would have requested that Jonah Hex next star in a comic bookthat serves as an historical preamble to the Batman books. But that is what we have, as our favoritepsychotic old west bounty hunter trudges through a sea of Dickensian crime andsqualor in a 19^th century Gotham City.

From a purely objective standpoint thebook is actually pretty good, the writing is tight, and the art isexcellent. I just keep wondering when itwill follow the promise of the title and become a western. At least we have the three part backupstories in each issue, this month kicking off The Barbary Ghost, another revenge tale (see this blog post formore on that topic) in the Chinese slums of San Francisco. Wait, it’s another blood soaked urbantale. Oh how I miss the desertlandscapes that Moritat used to draw in the last series.