Wednesday, January 31, 2024

Staring into the mid-winter campfire

Sometimes I look at the pill box and it’s 13 pills per day and get depressed.  “What would you have done 500 years ago?” I ask myself.  Truthfully I imagine other people judging me in that voice.  Let’s take a look at that question and take an inventory of what my life would have looked like at various ages if I was born in, say, 1824 and came of age in the heyday of the “Wild West”.




Age 0: I wouldn’t have made it to day one.  I have real doubts that my mother would have made it through the pregnancy, and infant mortality was over 10%.

 

Age 10: I might have made it this far.  Being born with a seemingly small yet major heart defect meant that I was small and underweight for most of my childhood, and was susceptible to fatal cardiac infections from cuts unless I was given antibiotics.  Lacking penicillin it’s likely that I would have died before this age, or not long after.  Child mortality rates at this time were 25%.

 

Age 30: On the remote chance that I wasn’t killed by a minor infection by now, 1854 would have been an interesting time.  Mid-30’s is where the periodic mental health issues started to become more regular.  In the 21st century I was able to manage them with time by myself and time outside, which turned into six years as a long distance runner.  In the 19th century I would have joined the migration west to get away from the crowds and maybe would have found something similar, but certainly not had the farm and giant passel of free labor / children, and the odds of death through infection would be that much more.  I would also have been more likely to self-medicate with alcohol or opium, and possibly soiled doves. 

 

Age 36: If infection, alcohol, sexually transmitted diseases, overdose or suicide hadn’t gotten to me by now, 36 is where it would have ended.  This is the year my heart stopped working, and I had to have my chest opened up, some original equipment taken out, and some new equipment installed.  This surgery wasn’t invented until 1952 and wasn’t common for a few more decades.  If I was born 150 years early in 1824 I would have died of heart failure or an aneurysm as the Civil War was starting.

 

Age 45: Let’s imagine that the heart problem never existed and I managed to not die of infection, this would have been a breaking point.  Even with a healthy diet, plenty of exercise, and clean living I still started to deal with levels of anxiety (and to some extent depression) that were inhibiting daily life.  Some of that is personality, some of that is personal history, and most of it is chemical and treatable today with select serotonin reuptake inhibitors (SSRIs) and norepinephrine and dopamine reuptake inhibitors (NDRIs).  By 1869 I would likely have either self-medicated my way to the grave, self-harmed my way off this mortal world, or died violently in an anxiety driven outburst.

 

Age 48:  If I made it this far, this is the year that I learned all the diet and exercise in the world wouldn’t keep my cholesterol from increasing exponentially every year.  My story would, inevitably, have ended in a few years, just before the Centennial.

 

Saturday, January 20, 2024

Quickshots: Apache Delivery Service

 


About the only thing that makes this graphic novel a western is the word Apache; regardless, I loved it.  It has some of my favorite story elements:

·       A main character who doesn’t fit well among other people

·       A vast wilderness

·       Shit exploding

We follow Ernie, a US Army forward observer in the Vietnam War, who much prefers to be out in the jungle away from people calling in airstrikes (the eponymous “Apache Delivery Service”, although Ernie is Dine / Navajo) rather than dealing with racist ass hats at the base.  While out on a long solo scout he runs into an out of place by about 15 years French colonial, who enlists him to help find some buried Nazi treasure.  The treasure is, of course, in a mountainous area that may or may not be haunted but is certainly filled with Viet Cong.  Paranoia and mayhem ensues.

The story zips along, the artwork of the jungles and mountains are lush, the main character reminds me of the quiet, reflective moments of Zen that Larry Hama tucked away in GI Joe back in my childhood.  Fantastic read.



Tuesday, January 16, 2024

When ain't no one watching, ain't no one judging

“I live in a survivalist compound populated by wives, concubines, slaves and wild beasts. At any given time no fewer than two people are restrained and forced to orgasm while humiliated by the jeers of onlookers. This is our culture. You have no right to judge us.”

This was the opening to a gallery I stumbled upon last year.  I edited a few of these to make them vaguely appropriate for Slap Bookleather, but honestly thinking about what I’ve already queued up for the year I’m not sure what’s appropriate at this point.  In the context of my end of the year thoughts on escaping civilization for solitude and meditation it rings… oddly in my noggin. 

What do people get up to when no one is looking?  Probably not just meditation.

Is this the kind of tomfoolery you should expect this year?  Maybe. 

Welcome to 2024.








Monday, January 15, 2024

A Feast for a Ranger

 


Y'all know that I also an obscure and little-read author, right?  This short story is pretty clean and sells for 99 cents.  Go check it out!

An Interlude at the Campfire


Today I learned that cancer is going to take down another friend.

Time is a predator. Time is a gift. Time is an illusion. Time is a paradox. Time is a flat circle. Time is a constant. Time flies by. Time is precious. Time is infinite. Take your time. Don’t waste time. 


The wheel of karma keeps spinning; hope you find your dharma in time. 


See you next time around. 

Tuesday, January 9, 2024

Quickshots: Buffalo Trail

Two and a half years ago I quickly read and quickly reviewed a great first novel called Glorious.  I liked it so much I ordered the sequel, Buffalo Trail, and dug right in.  I’ve taken a lot of stabs at it in the last 30 months and haven’t gotten to the halfway part.  I think I’m done.

It’s a shame, because the novel is a buildup to the Battle of Adobe Walls, where the southern plains tribes went to war with the buffalo hunters.  The pacing is interesting, with one chapter following one of the buffalo hunters, the next following Quannah Parker gathering tribes to his side.  It should be good, but every time I got invested in one set of characters we were off to the next, and I struggled to care with the shift.  Tom Clancy did something like this in his amazing Cardinal of the Kremlin, where you got down to the nail biting last chapter not knowing which point of reference character will survive.  Here I couldn’t care.  Go read Glorious!  It was fantastic.


Saturday, January 6, 2024

Celebrating the day I was kicked off Facebook!


On January 6, 2021, I swapped my profile pic on Facebook to an American flag in a moment of rare solidarity with Congress and hope for the continuity of democracy.  However, since the flag was usurped that day by miscreant fascists intent on murdering the Vice President, this move was conisdered the act of a dangerous insurrectionist and my Facebook account was quickly shut down with no appeal.  

Donlad Trump, the leader of the insurection?  He got an appeal.  Sure.  Fuck Facebook.

Monday, January 1, 2024

Shaolin Cowboy


 

Wrestle You Way Into the New Year with Toni Storm

In the spirit of total transparency, I started staging posts to cover all of 2024 way back in the late summer of 2023, because I loved the notion of filling my blog in it's 12th year with more posts than ever before.  A lot of that was finding the random pictures I've collected and putting them on posts.  I found this collection of someone I believe is a professional wrestler, in a vaguely western themed photo shoot, and decided to kick of the year with this.  So enjoy.  Or not.  The last few years have been a crap shoot.  God may not play dice with the universe, but he sure does play Russian Roulette with you.