One rusted out, unusable gas grill that you regret buying from your friend
One grill grate from when you tried but failed to make the unusable grill usable
One fire bowl
One bag charcoal briquettes
One bunch of twigs for kindling (semi-dry)
Four mid sized logs (semi-dry)
One large pot
One small container of bacon drippings
Three tomatoes rescued from the garden before the 75mph winds, diced
One can beans from the back of your pantry
One onion, diced
One chili pepper, diced
One jalapeno pepper, diced
Two chicken breasts slowly going bad in your depowered refrigerator
One bottle Corona
½ pack of taco seasoning left over from Thursday’s dinner
Two cups of water
1- Stare at the unusable gas grill. Shake your head in shame.
2- Prepare the fire bowl by dumping out the water, then pouring in the charcoal. Light charcoal. While the fire is still going add kindling and four logs, arrayed so that they can provide support for the grate as they burn. Because the wood is wet you may want to liberally add bacon drippings which burns hot and gets your neighbors and family agitated.
3- When the coals are burning red and the wood is spitting flame, place the grate on top of the wood. Place the pot on top of the grate, and put a couple of tablespoons of bacon drippings in the pot. Enjoy the melting and sputtering, then add onion. Stir occasionally for five minutes.
4- As onions brown, place the two chicken breasts on grate over the fire. Turn occasionally.
5- Add water and taco seasoning to the pot. Stir. When boiling, add chicken to the pot. Stir occasionally for five minutes.
6- Add peppers, beans, and tomatoes to pot. Stir occasionally for 40 minutes.
7- Drink beer while watching the pot boil and avoiding ashes flying in your face as the last of the tropical storms winds pick up. If the pot starts to look dry, pour beer into the pot.
8- Check to make sure that chicken is cooked through. Spoon chicken and chili into large bowls. Either eat outside or light candles, because it is going to be a while until the power comes back on.