Monday, February 27, 2012

The Celebrity Cowboy- Erotic Failures in Western Fiction

Early in my blogging career I wrote a post about eroticism in westerns.  It is one of my top ten most visited posts, although I suspect that is because there is a somewhat pornographic clip from the video game Darkwatch embedded, and not because of my erudite writing.  I still like looking for westerns that not only capture the primal feeling of making one’s way through a wilderness landscape, but also the primal feeling of warm bodies in a passionate embrace. 

I occasionally have a moment of weakness and look this type of writing by grabbing a cheap ebook from the Barnes & Noble Nook store.  I browsed through my Nook today and found one story called The Cowboy Celebrity by David Shaw.  I don’t recall when I bought this, or why, but I apparently laid out $2 of cold, hard electric cash for it.  It is a short story that features a Wild Bill double that meets two married women on a steamboat trip and entices them back to his cabin, ostensibly to have them “model” costumes for a new show.

“Sweet Jesus, Clara, your tits are so big a man could stake out a claim on them under the Homesteading Act.”

So-called erotic westerns are often filled with loose, groan-worthy analogies to historical western events, like the one above.  We are also usually treated to fascinating details of penis size, like this:

“Oh, God, Georgina,” Clara moaned in shock.  “It belongs in a cage!”

The two women spend most of the rest of book talking about how big the man is, and how worried they are about fitting it within their demure forms.  I’m assuming that at some point they try it out, but I gave up before that point. 

Surely there is a novel out there that is well written AND has engaging scenes of eroticism.  Any suggestions?


  1. Slap, I tried for that in NO GOOD LIKE IT IS (chapters 28 and 40), and there's a brutal double rape in chapter 11 of the sequel, DOG SOLDIER MOON. There was originally more detail in these scenes, but an editor said to 'understate' it, to make it more suitable for the Young Adult crowd. Frankly, I think it's still too raw for them.

  2. Brutal double rape? That sounds pretty extreme. Not sure that's up my alley.

  3. Mike! I'm about 80% of the way through No Good Like It Is. Love it. I'll try to review it in the next month or so.

  4. Mike, I love No Good Like It Is. I'm about 80% of the way through. I'll try to give it a review in the next few weeks.