Skeletons Fucked Up My Naked Husband

 

Zombie Saloon

 

Ravenous: “Eat to live. Don’t live to eat.”

Have you seen this movie yet?  If not, do so with utmost haste.  It really is a marvel, and if I write very much about it I will be giving away some of the great twists.  In short, Ravenous is the story of a US Army officer who, after being grievously wounded in the Mexican War, is assigned to a sparsely populated “fort” in deep in a mountainous frontier.  Things go… strangely, and a substantial amount of mayhem, murder, and madness ensue.  Add in fantastic acting (from Guy Pearce, Robert Carlyle, Jeffrey Jones, Jeremy Davies, John Spencer, Neal McDonough and David Arquette), beautiful scenery, and a haunting score, and it’s a winner. 

It might be a horror movie, a cannibal movie, and/or a western, and one film critic saw it as a gay romance.  See it and let me know.

Cowpoke Pinup of October & Welcome to Weird West Month!

 

Here at Slap Bookleather the posse is eager to round up a bunch of weird western content for the spooky month of Halloween.  We'll kick things off with this pinup from the Western Horror game Darkwatch, reviewed way back in the first year of the blog!

Quick Shots: Dead Again In Tombstone

 

I tried.

Dear Lord, I tried. 

I tried because I respect Danny Trejo. 

I tried because any weird western film deserves a respectful watch. 

I tried because of the images below which promised that there had to be something cool and fun and decadent to be seen.

But, ultimately, I gave up after an hour.

Crossed: Garth Ennis takes on Blood Meridian

In the middle of a resurging pandemic with a non-zero chance of a civil war in the next year, I decided to read Garth Ennis’ Crossed.  

Most people likely know Garth Ennis from the books he’s written that have gone on to be television series (Preacher on AMC and The Boys on Amazon).  Ennis’ big jump into comics was in fact with Preacher, way back in 1994, where he explicitly set out to write a western, but turned it on it’s side with the modern time period, metaphysical plot, crude humor, and general insanity.

 

Ennis’ work comes in two flavors- derivative nonsense (Streets of Glory) and pure genius (Saint of Killers).  Sometimes he manages to do both in the same book (Punisher: Born).  From the outside Crossed looks like something completely derivative, just being Ennis’ take on the ever popular Zombie Apocalypse.  Once I got a few issues in it became clear that just as Preacher is inspired by a broad brush of western tropes, Crossed is inspired by Cormac McCarthy’s Blood Meridian.

 

In this story an unknown event infects a mass of the population.  Rather than turning them to zombies, it strips away social constructs like morality, guilt, or conscience, leaving nothing but rage and depravity.  The infection leaves a cross-shaped rash on their faces; someone who is infected is referred to as having “crossed” over.  A group of survivors make their way through the wilderness to safety, dogged for hundreds of miles by a pack of Crossed.

 

There’s a point in the story where a group of Crossed makes an attack, and it immediately looked like the Indian attack that broke up Glanton’s gang in Blood Meridian: 

“A legion of horribles, hundreds in number, half naked or clad in costumes attic or biblical or wardrobed out of a fevered dream with the skins of animals and silk finery and pieces of uniform still tracked with the blood of prior owners, coats of slain dragoons, frogged and braided cavalry jackets, one in a stovepipe hat and one with an umbrella and one in white stockings and a bloodstained wedding veil and some in headgear or cranefeathers or rawhide helmets that bore the horns of bull or buffalo and one in a pigeontailed coat worn backwards and otherwise naked and one in the armor of a Spanish conquistador, the breastplate and pauldrons deeply dented with old blows of mace or sabre done in another country by men whose very bones were dust and many with their braids spliced up with the hair of other beasts until they trailed upon the ground and their horses' ears and tails worked with bits of brightly colored cloth and one whose horse's whole head was painted crimson red and all the horsemen's faces gaudy and grotesque with daubings like a company of mounted clowns, death hilarious, all howling in a barbarous tongue and riding down upon them like a horde from a hell more horrible yet than the brimstone land of Christian reckoning, screeching and yammering and clothed in smoke like those vaporous beings in regions beyond right knowing where the eye wanders and the lip jerks and drools.”

 

Ennis’ nine issue first story of Crossed is a horrible, hopeful, and brilliant western.  It'll break your heart.