Happy Thanksgiving 2024!

 

Motivating New Employees

 

Skeletons Fucked Up My Naked Husband

 

Dinosaurs are Ruining My Life!

 

The Dick Ripper

 

Right In the Goddamned Penis

 

Did they play Strip Poker in Old Saloons?

 

Celebrating the day I was kicked off Facebook!

On January 6, 2021, I swapped my profile pic on Facebook to an American flag in a moment of rare solidarity with Congress and hope for the continuity of democracy.  However, since the flag was usurped that day by miscreant fascists intent on murdering the Vice President, this move was conisdered the act of a dangerous insurrectionist and my Facebook account was quickly shut down with no appeal.  

Donlad Trump, the leader of the insurection?  He got an appeal.  Sure.  Fuck Facebook.

Happy Thanksgiving 2022!

 

"How come pale face always take more than he can eat?"

The Rifleman in Comics

Dumping the Saddle Bag all Over Your Screen

Sometimes I post because I read something inspiring.  

Sometimes I post because I have something to say.  

Sometimes I post because there is a need to express something deep inside of me and I struggle to find a way to get it out.  

Sometimes I post because I saved a bunch of funny images to Drop Box and I need to clear up some space.

Saddle Tramp

Haven't seen this one, but take a good look at that first image.  That's Hyapatia Lee and Nina Hartley!  Two legends.  Hyapatia Lee is of Cherokee descent and made an effort to do respectful Native American themed adult films.  Not sure if Saddle Tramp counts (although she did write this one as well as star in it), I think she made a better effort in a movie called Snake Dance that I'll post about eventually.

The Good, The Bad, and the Horny 2

I will admit that I have not seen this one.  I really want to see the first before I see the sequel so I can fully embrace the story.

Lipps & McCain

Haven't seen it, to the best of my understanding this is a bio-pic of Senator John McCain's family coming to Arizona.  

The Legend of Barbi-Q and Little Fawn

I can't even make a joke about this one.  

The Diamond Stud

Is this a dirty movie or just a movie from a time when they were dirtier in general?  Here's a quote from the IMDB page:

"This film is about the successful "two-bit chiseling son of a bitch" Diamond Jim. He rides his personal rail around the country, smoking cigars and having love affairs."

Calamity Jane

This might be a selection of deleted scenes from Deadwood.  

Powder Burns

I have no idea what this is about, but look, guys on horses!  Also good to see that the Playboy Bunny look has been around since the 19th century.

The Bone Ranger

From IMDB:

"On Reptilon, a twin planet to Earth, dinosaurs never became extinct, but evolved into two races of highly intelligent space travelers - the Dinosaucers and the Tyrannos. The desperate Dinosaucers have arrived on Earth seeking new energy sources. Tyrannos, however, share nothing and are determined to conquer Earth. It's up to four kids and the Dinosaucers to outmaneuver and outwit the Tyrannos."

That might be a different version of The Bone Ranger.

Breckinridge Elkins, Robert E. Howard's comedic mountain man

Good grief, there is a Breckinridge Elkins web comic!  To be honest, I probably knew about this in my first time pass through this blog, but I had a chance to give it a good read lately and I really enjoyed it.  Not sure what else this guy has worked on, and it's amazing that the site is still up after a decade.  

Breckinridge Elkins is by far my favorite Robert E. Howard character, more so than Conan and Solomon Kane.  His mountain man stories are where Howard really started to come into his own as a writer and folklorist, and where he put most of his efforts in the last years or his life.  The Conan stories (the originals, not the pastiches or stories adapted into Conan stories) read like man managing his bipolar disorder through writing.  By the time we get to Elkins, it felt like he had passed a rough patch and was enjoying his professional life.

Then his dog died, his mother died, and he put a .38 in his own brain.  He was 36.

Breckinridge Elkins is a reminder that adversity can be overcome, life can be good, and it can also be fleeting.

Enjoy.

Wisdom of Dusty and Lefty

From today’s Lives of the Cowboys on Prairie Home Companion:

by Larry Dixon

“You spend weeks out on the prairie longing for the company of people, then after two hours in town you can’t wait to get out by yourself again.”

Truer words were never spoken.

Can’t Stand the Cockeyed Cowboys of Calico County

I’m spending this weekend laid up on the couch with an ankle injury, watching old westerns on Netflix and writing for the blog.  I just turned off The Cockeyed Cowboys of Calico County.  Not worth much of a write up.  Boring.  Boring.  Not funny.  Boring.  Boring.  ‘Nuff said.

Cowboy Monkey

I don’t know how many readers are familiar with Taco John’s, a fast food Mexican chain.  I have never eaten there, largely because I can’t understand why it isn’t called Taco Juan’s.  Regardless, they now have a dog-riding cowboy monkey named Whiplash as a mascot.  Enjoy.

 

Clockwork Chloe

“I ain’t much for shootin’ unarmed men, so if you got an iron, you better slap leather.”

A great line from a fun short story in the western steampunk vein called Clockwork Chloe.  The story is simply one night in the life of Bert Tillory, a man who has “slept with every woman west of the Pecos” and tells everyone he sees about the deeds.  Bert spends most of the story in a bar recounting his exploits, including the great love of his life, Clockwork Chloe.  With one metal arm, one metal leg, and lots of gears and sprockets, Chloe was the one great love of his hednonistic life.

There isn’t much of the story past this, as the entire thing is less than 3000 words long (by comparison, my average post is about 500 words).  It is fun and zippy, though, with the author clearly stating in his plot outline that the story is an homage (or is the term “shout out” nowadays?) to Spider Robinson's Callahan series. 

Perhaps best of all, Clockwork Chloe is free to download from Amazon, Barnes & Noble, and Smashwords.  At no cost and taking only a few minute to read, Clockwork Chloe is well worth the brief investment of your time to check out.  The author, Ian Healy, has turned out a number of other books as well, including some westerns (with elves).  One more crazy author to add to the stack…